S1E1 - One Sweet & Sour Chinese Adventure - To Go

Bill & Ted are rehearsing in Bill's garage when their loud music knocks Missy's "brand-new antique" Chinese vase off its shelf. Desperate to replace the broken vase before Missy gets home, the dudes travel back to Ancient China in search of an authentic substitute. Once in China they are arrested for causing a mess in a vase store (called 1000 Vases of Dr. Lao - a joke relating to the cult movie classic The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao) and are sentenced to building the Great Wall of China (a couple of days work - which falls down as soon as they are released). Unaware that their phone booth, which was parked in a tow away zone, has been taken to Kublai Khan's palace, the dudes stop at Oodles of Noodles for some lunch. Rufus slips them a note via fortune cookie to let them know about their booth, and they have to explain the concept of Chinese take-out to the waitress named Kitten Kaboodles, who offers them a free vase which is exactly like Missy's. On their way to the palace they are shang
Sept. 15, 1990, midnight

S1E2 - The Birth Of Rock 'N Roll Or Too Hip For The Womb

Bill and Ted are in danger of flunking their Music Appreciation class most heinously (they identify the William Tell Overture as the theme song to The Lone Ranger) unless they write an essay on classical music by the next morning. They head to the San Dimas Mall to do some research but aren't able to relate since none of the old time dudes played electric guitar. Rufus shows up, unable to assist them, but with clearance to say three words, "Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart". The dudes travel back to Salzburg, Austria, to ask Mozart for help with their report, but accidentally go back too far and end up babysitting the way juvenile pre-composer instead. Intending to take Mozart into the future in hopes he'll relate to Deacon, the trio is waylaid when Wolfie needs to make a pitstop and they end up in Macon, Georgia in the 50's where Wolfie's pranks inadvertently gets a young dishwasher named Richard Penneman fired from his job. Bill & Ted recognize the unemployed man as Little Richard and en
Sept. 22, 1990, midnight

S1E3 - A Most Excellent Roman Holiday

Bill and Ted are called to Vice Principal Ryan's office for a meeting with their parents after they sign up for spring term classes . . . choosing only Study Hall and Girls P.E. There they learn they are to take a series of most egregiously tough classes, including Latin! They are horrified to learn that the Latin class is made up entirely of dweebs, and that their first assignment is to decipher the Latin on a rare ancient Roman coin minted for only one day in the realm of Julius Caesar. Conferring at the Circle K, they decide to go back to when the coin was made to find one. Accidentally they find themselves in Latin America instead, in the midst of an Incan rain dance ceremony. They are mistaken for rain gods and given a sumptuous banquet. All is well until they are called upon to make it rain, and when they can't the Incans attempt to boil them in oil as a sacrifice to their Sun God. The Three Most Important People send Rufus to their aid, but before he arrives the dudes are
Sept. 29, 1990, midnight

S1E4 - Model 'T' For Ted

After Detective Logan manages to survive Ted's 41st (and last) driving lesson in his dad's most macho squad car, Bill expects Ted to drive them down to the record store to pick up the new Iron Maiden CD. Borrowing Detective Logan's Classic 1973 Plymouth Duster named "Blue Betty", and with Rufus along as their licensed driver (he shows up to take their phone booth in for its 20,000 Year Checkup) they end up stalled in the middle of an intersection and blocking traffic. Leaving Rufus to try to fix the car, the dudes go back in time to try to find someone to help them. Dialing in Plymouth they end up at Plymouth Rock when the Pilgrim's have just landed. Caught between the fighting Pilgrims and Indians, they offer to cook them dinner to help them come together. They are told to cook a baby turkey, but unable to harm the little creature they instead serve up cherry, cranberry, corn, squash and trout Frosty Slushes then Chicago-style pizza, which land them in the stocks. They are freed
Oct. 6, 1990, midnight

S1E5 - The More Heinous They Are, The Harder They Fall

Ted is practicing guitar in his room when a most odious aroma assails his noseholes. He finds his little brother, Deacon, in the backyard turning on the water hose to wash himself off. Deacon relates how Killer Gabron, a bully at school, threw him into a garbage can. Ted decides to try helping Deacon deal with his bully problem. He finds Bill playing video games at the Kozy Korner and as they ponder the situation Rufus appears briefly (in the video game) to tell them they need to figure out what to do themselves. They decide to go back into history and find a most heinous bully to take care of Deacon's bully. They first visit Henry VIII, but he cannot help them because he has a date with Ann Bolin, so he suggests they try Ivan the Terrible. They go to Russia to seek out Mr. Terrible, only to find that in reality he's a major dweeb (his fierceness, he explains, is all image). They next head to South Dakota to seek out Calamity Jane, who they find, true to her name, makes calamit
Oct. 20, 1990, midnight

S1E6 - Birds Of A Feather Stick To The Roof Of Your Mouth

Bill & Ted agree to housesit for Bill's neighbor, an eccentric explorer and bird expert named Mr. Stickler. They are instructed to make sure Mr. Stickler's cat, Max, stays out of the house to protect Prince Rupurt the III, his prized African buff-headed wood hoopoe. Unfortunately, no sooner does Mr. Stickler leave than the dudes find out they accidentally left the door open and Max has already made a snack of the rare bird. Realizing they need to find a replacement bird, they look up "bird" in the Circuits of Time directory and end up in Antarctica with explorer, Admiral Byrd. Having landed on his sleigh dog's kennels, the dudes must rebuild them before going with Admiral Byrd, which they do by making it out of ice, igloo style. Unfortunately they are not in time to fly with Admiral Byrd and start out after him on dogsled. They meet up shortly afterward to find all their compasses going crazy, and Byrd announces they have discovered the South Pole. Unfortunately for the dudes, t
Oct. 27, 1990, midnight

S1E7 - A Black Night In San Dimas

Bill & Ted are rehearsing for Wyld Stallyns to play at the school dance (no one else tried out). They arrive late at school and accidentally slip into the girls' health class during a movie and are caught by Miss Spleen, who reprimands them for being late for her math class and forgetting homework and threatens to have them expelled and kept from playing at the school dance. Later at the Kozy Korner, Ted purchases a blue Frosty Slush in a silver collector's cup before the dudes head back in time to pick up the Princess Babes to sing with the band at the dance. They accidentally end up in the middle of the Crusades where they run afoul of Saladin. He is ready to arrest them until he spots Ted's silver collector's cup and believes it to be the Silver Chalice. Just then the Black Knight bursts in and steals the Silver Chalice for himself. Believing Bill & Ted crossed them, Saladin's men start after them but they are able to escape in the booth. They arrive in England just as the Bl
Nov. 3, 1990, midnight

S1E8 - Pocket Watch Full Of Miracles

Bill is sleeping soundly on a Saturday morning when Missy wakes him up, asking him to go buy a present for Mr. Preston's surprise birthday party. She had found an antique pocket watch just like the one Mr. Preston always talked about losing as a child. Instead Bill rehearses with Ted in the garage, and when they blow an amp they decide to use the money to buy themselves a new amplifier, thinking they can simply go back in time and get the watch before Bill's dad loses it instead. However in the excitement of getting a new amp, they forget to get the watch. Unable to find a listing for Bill's dad, they call the Circuits of Time operator and get Rufus, who is working the switchboard. Rufus explains they are not allowed to go back into their own pasts for fear they might accidentally mess something up. Instead Ted calls Bill's dad and pretends he's a contest representative and says Mr. Preston will win a bevy of fabulous prizes if he can remember his phone number from when he was te
Nov. 10, 1990, midnight

S1E9 - This Babe Ruth "Babe" Is A Dude, Dude

Bill and Ted are heading to school, admiring their new pump sneakers which they have for gym class. They notice Rufus going into the bowling alley nearby to rent all the shoes they have to deliver to the Yankee soldiers who have missed a shipment of shoes. Bill & Ted offer their own pump sneakers to the cause as well. In gym class, they anger Coach Sweatsocks when they run through the hurdles instead of over them and do not have their shoes. He punishes them to polish his trophies, including his autographed Babe Ruth baseball. They accidentally drop the Babe Ruth baseball into some water, which washes off the signature. Seeking Babe Ruth, whom Coach Sweatsocks said was a famous Yankee, and remembering Rufus was delivering shoes to Yankee soldiers, they head back to the Civil War where the only reference to baseball they can find is a guy named Abner Doubleday, who is perfecting the idea of the game. Bill & Ted get involved in a ball game between the Yankees and Confederates, whe
Nov. 24, 1990, midnight

S1E10 - When The Going Gets Tough Bill & Ted Are History

Bill & Ted give a free Wyld Stallyns concert in the park, only to be totally walked out on. This depresses them to the point they decide not to continue trying to be musicians. In the future San Dimas, the Three Most Important People summon Rufus and explain what has happened, saying that their future is on shaky ground. If Bill & Ted do not continue to try to create their music, life as they know it will cease to happen and time has started running backwards. They tell Rufus that he must not tell them about what is happening to the future, he must instead show them that they need to keep trying. Rufus drops in on the dudes, slightly younger and his hair longer. He realizes that he will continue to get younger until Bill & Ted decide to go back to music, and so he asks them to help him with an unspecific problem, giving them an itinerary they are supposed to follow. Their first stop is at Thomas Edison's laboratory. They find Edison trying to perfect his phonograph, but having
Dec. 1, 1990, midnight

S1E11 - Never The Twain Shall Meet

Bill & Ted face the most heinous event of their lives when Mr. Ryan announces they are expelled. Terrified of what Ted's dad will do to him, the dudes ask for a second chance. Mr. Ryan says that if they can line up someone incredible for tomorrow's Career Day they may have a chance to stay in school. At the Kozy Korner they try to decide who to get to speak. Remembering the statuettes on Mr. Ryan's desk, they go in search of Shakespeare and Mark Twain. They arrive in England to find Shakespeare's newest play, Romeo and Juliet, about to open. When they buy tickets with U.S. money they are considered crooks and chased by ushers. They accidentally end up on the stage where the confuse the theater goers, who begin throwing vegetables. Overhearing Shakespeare lamenting over what he chose to be, they urge him to "Be what you want to be . . . or not. Whatever." Bill & Ted reach their booth and travel to Sacramento, California, where their booth lands in one of the flumes at Sutter's
Dec. 8, 1990, midnight

S1E12 - A Job, A Job - My Kingdom For A Job

Bill & Ted's fathers make it clear that they are not getting any more advances on their allowances, leaving the dudes with a most serious low cash flow crisis. Rufus meets them at the Kozy Korner where he shows them a Wyld Stallyns hologram which has suffered an electrical glitch and wiped out the sound and he's been sent back to find out what song it is. The dudes want to rehearse but realize that they need money and have to find part time jobs. They apply for work in the food court at the San Dimas Mall, only to find they have no past experience to put on their applications. They decide to go to France to study food and land at the palace of Marie Antoinette, who is in tears because her chefs have quit and there is no one to bake her birthday cake. Bill & Ted offer to bake the cake in exchange for a recommendation. Outside they find Jacques and Joseph Montgolfier working on blowing up their hot air balloon and ask if they can borrow their fire to bake their cake. The balloon g
Dec. 15, 1990, midnight

S1E13 - A Grimm Story Of An Overdue Book

Bill & Ted are getting ready to climb aboard the school bus heading for an excellent school ski trip when Rufus drops in and asks if they would attend Be Excellent to Each Other Day in the future, but they decline, telling him about their ski trip. Before they can board the bus, however, a Bookmobile with flashing lights pulls up and they find themselves facing Sgt. Joe Donaldson of the library police. He informs Ted that he is the library's Most Wanted fugitive for not returning the library's copy of Little Red Riding Hood which he checked out when he was six, and that he now owes $35,000 in back library fines. Asking if they can at least make one phone call, they escape to their booth and decide to find the Grimm Brothers to obtain a copy of the book. They find the two authorities on grammar being evicted from their home for not paying their rent. Brother Jacob decides he might want to try his hand at writing folk tales, while Brother Wilhelm says it's silly. Bill & Ted realize
Dec. 22, 1990, midnight
Network: CBS
Episode Runtime: 30 min.
Season Runtime: 630 min.
Released: Sept. 15, 1990
Last Air Date: Nov. 16, 1991, midnight
Status: Ended
Certification: NR

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