S1E1 - Talk to a Jew
Barth talks about his unusual day-to-day contract. Howard Palmer, a man in an iron lung, plays the piano. ""Talk to a Jew"" -- Morton Rose answers audience questions. (""When is Barbra Streisand's next movie coming out?"")
July 4, 1977, midnight
S1E2 - Leisure Suits Cause Cancer
Barth thanks the viewers for their support that got him renewed for another episode. Rocket to Stardom: Baby Irene sings ""I Didn't Know the Gun Was Loaded"". Barth talks to her about gun control. Happy talks about his nostrils. From Fernwood Commmunity College: Doctor Richard Osgood has proof that leisure suits cause cancer. (You see, they dress up the mice in tiny leisure suits... No, really!) Bury the Hatchet: Iris and Joseph Case want their son, a Catholic priest, to come back to them. Howard Palmer plays, while Baby Irene dances.
July 5, 1977, midnight
S1E3 - The Wonderblender
Barth introduces his dad. The body language of April McTear -- contortionist. Lou Moffatt plugs Blendermatic, the Wonderblender. The owner of the Butterfly Deli, Susan Cloud (""...the body _requires_ burgers""). Barth's father Garth Sr. and his idiot dog perform,
July 6, 1977, midnight
S1E4 - Corporal Punishment I
Hula hoopist Darius Washington. South Vietnamese gardener Mein Ko Thein (?) plugs his book: ""Yankee Doodle Gook"". The Other Side of the News:High School Principal Marshall O. Petty discusses corporal punishment by demonstrating it on Debbie Dunbar. Lastly, Garth Sr. and his dumb dog.
July 7, 1977, midnight
S1E5 - Corporal Punishment II
Barth talks with Debbie Dunbar's mother. Since ""last weeks"" on-air spanking, Debbie has gotten several lucrative modeling jobs. Russ Tuttle, the Fernwood coroner talks about cut rate funeral alternatives; Mrs. Dunbar appears with both of her daughters, shamelessly plugging the phone number for her ""talent agency"". Jerry rambles on about families. Barth sings ""Feelings"" while Debbie does cheerleader stuff. Once again, Garth and Louie.
July 8, 1977, midnight
S1E6 - Fernwood Fascinating Females
Vernon Taylor (AKA ""Uncle Sam, Jr"") reads one of his poems, Candy Lee Hargrove talks about the Fernwood Fascinating Females League.
July 11, 1977, midnight
S1E7 - Hearing Ear Dogs for the Deaf
Pet control center director Connie Bushman on Hearing Ear Dogs for the Deaf. Also: dancer Lisa Martin; Garth Gimble, Sr. and his dog.
July 12, 1977, midnight
S1E8 - Congressman Chambers
None
July 13, 1977, midnight
S1E9 - No-frills Hospitals
Ambassador-at-large Harold Mislap talks about his efforts to bring tourism to Fernwood, Dr. Richard Osgood presents his no-frills hospital plan.
July 14, 1977, midnight
S1E10 - Ethnic Myths
Daredevil Virgil Simms; Emanuel Kasinski on his latest findings on ethnic myths and prejudice.
July 15, 1977, midnight
S1E11 - Lillian Dunbar
Grandmother Lillian Dunbar and presidential namesake James Earl Carter.
July 18, 1977, midnight
S1E12 - Uncle Sam, Jr (I)
Candy discusses gynacology and the need for female gynacologists. Bart plays the guitar while Happy and Vernon accompany him.
July 19, 1977, midnight
S1E13 - Tony Rolletti and Susan Cloud
None
July 20, 1977, midnight
S1E14 - Breeding Athletes
Barth challenges Jimmy Carter to come on the show and compete with him to prove just who is a star. Lou Moffet offers tips on home music ripoffs and the presents the American Guitar Studios home study course offered by Gimblco Enterprises. Happy & band member Tommy Maranucci sit and chat.
July 21, 1977, midnight
S1E15 - Animal Sexuality
Professional football consultant Emanual Kasinski on the breeding of large men.
July 22, 1977, midnight
S1E16 - Garth Gimble Memorial Tennis Classic
This episode is tentatively scheduled for air on TV LAND July 20th at midnight. Original production number: 127 Barth promotes the planned Garth Gimbel Memorial Tennis Classic. W.D. ""Bud"" Prize (Kenneth Mars) returns, and bows to public demands that he reveal the secret of his chinadonture treatment. In a rebuttal to Dr. Van Moot (aka Dr. Osgood), Phil Maltby (Morgan Upton) of Phil's Fashion Funwear and Medical Research Lab explains that leisure suits, far from causing cancer, actually can help cure disease. ""Bud"" Prize is so stimulated by this revelation that he falls asleep.
July 25, 1977, midnight
S1E17 - Dating Service for Dogs
Connie Bushman talks about her dating service for dogs. Radio personality Terry Guy plugs his disc jockey correspondence course.
July 26, 1977, midnight
S1E18 - Lou Moffatt on Land Deals
Lou Moffatt on land deals; Bassist Eddie Thomerson. Sylvia Miller also appears and discusses how a martian violated her with a beam of blue light.
July 27, 1977, midnight
S1E19 - Uncle Sam Jr. II
Vernon Taylor, better known as Uncle Sam, Jr. is back and as passionate as ever.
July 28, 1977, midnight
S1E20 - Comedy Sales Techniques
Insurance salesman Elliott J. Tubbs demonstrates his comedy sales techniques. Happy Kyne on shut-ins.
July 29, 1977, midnight
S1E21 - Tom Waits
Tom Waits. ""Bud"" Prize on using CB radio to bring in tourists.
Aug. 1, 1977, midnight
S1E22 - Dumbness measuring machine
A dumbness measuring machine is demonstrated. Actually, more like a dumbness alarm. Say a dumb thing, and the alarm goes off. Like every time that Jerry opens his mouth.
Aug. 2, 1977, midnight
S1E23 - no info
Happy Kyne shares the latest gizmo developed by the Olfactory Center of Toledo; the nose aid.
Aug. 3, 1977, midnight
S1E24 - Singers and salesmen
Mario Dorsett on his success as a singer; Tony Rolletti; Mrs. Walter Donker, whose husband sells cars.
Aug. 4, 1977, midnight
S1E25 - Criminal Justice
Gilbert Ulysses Nelson discusses the treatment of criminals.
Aug. 5, 1977, midnight
S1E26 - Still a Dream
Local opera singer Donny Lee Savage; Dr. Hugh Slocum on his latest scientific discovery; Amateur photographer Marianne Cox.
Aug. 8, 1977, midnight
S1E27 - Fernwood Blood Drive
Singing duo Doug and Diana Mitchell; Fernwood blood drive chairman Larry Guy.
Aug. 9, 1977, midnight
S1E28 - Ratings Week
Singer Laurie Gallagher performs, accompanied by her mother on drums. Also: Bud Prize and Sylvia Miller.
Aug. 10, 1977, midnight
S1E29 - Barbershop Trio
Doctor Alexander Beach discusses his findings on marijuana. How the Humdinger Barbershop Quartet became a trio.
Aug. 11, 1977, midnight
S1E30 - Two Ladies Against Pornography
Nettie and Barbara Forman on the elderly.
Aug. 12, 1977, midnight
S1E31 - Church of the Devine Lemonade
The founder of the Church of the Devine Lemonade, Billy Jenkins. George and Sally Krepps discuss the La Fromage method of childbirth.
Aug. 15, 1977, midnight
S1E32 - Roger Bellman
Marin Worth reads one of his poems. Also: Susan Cloud and chauffeur Earl Simmons.
Aug. 16, 1977, midnight
S1E33 - The Fitness Twins
Fernwood mayor Merle Jeeter honors champion Girl scout cookie seller Wendy Price. Also: contortionist Mike Timmins and Mary Lou Bridgewater.
Aug. 17, 1977, midnight
S1E34 - You Are You
Alberta Cornwall on how colored clothing affects moods; poet Vernon Taylor.
Aug. 18, 1977, midnight
S1E35 - The Barber
Hair stylist Sal Magglione and Presidential namesake James Earl Carter.
Aug. 19, 1977, midnight
S1E36 - X-Rated Shopping Mall
Sportscaster Jane Tiffany and W. D. ""Bud"" Prize.
Aug. 22, 1977, midnight
S1E37 - Tony Rolletti's autobiography
Tony Rolletti plugs his autobiography. The Mirth-Makers perform ""Rock Around the Clock"".
Aug. 23, 1977, midnight
S1E38 - Getting the most from your warranty
Virgil Simms tells how to get the most out of your new-car waranty. Basically, you make sure that it goes into the shop just before that waranty expires.
Aug. 24, 1977, midnight
S1E39 - Nudists
Linda Barry, owner of the Fernwood Nudist Colony. Toy maker George Ellsworth.
Aug. 25, 1977, midnight
S1E40 - Wrestling
Jane Tiffany; Sylvia Miller; Wrestler Rock Mondo and his assisstant.
Aug. 26, 1977, midnight
S1E41 - Tony and Chance Rolletti
None
Aug. 27, 1977, midnight
S1E42 - Solving Water Shortages
Representative Chambers on solving water shortages with icebergs. Lucy and Ed Campbell show how they display affection.
Aug. 28, 1977, midnight
S1E43 - Sex Therapy
Vern Taylor; Sex therapy clinic founder Matthew Johnson; Happy sings about tooth decay.
Aug. 29, 1977, midnight
S1E44 - Real Estate Tips
Comic Buddy Brown; Author Dottie Ann Lee; Eddie Thomerson's real estate tips.
Aug. 30, 1977, midnight
S1E45 - Skateboard Angel
Larry Guy takes questions from the audience; The Mirth-Makers play ""Skateboard Angel"".
Sept. 2, 1977, midnight
S1E46 - Mobile Home Daredevil
Las Vegas entertainer Debbie Dunbar; Mobile home daredevil Virgil Simms.
Sept. 5, 1977, midnight
S1E47 - Rev. Chung Hee
None
Sept. 6, 1977, midnight
S1E48 - Pot Sniffing
Impressionist Reggie Morrison; Principal Marshall Petty; Susan Cloud.
Sept. 7, 1977, midnight
S1E49 - Pet Mating Service
Connie Bushman on her computer pet mating service; Sherry McCormick performs "" I Like Dreamin'""; The Birchfield, Ohio mayor tells how he spent 90 days in jail.
Sept. 8, 1977, midnight
S1E50 - Harrison Edwards' Moon
Historian Harrison Edwards. Also: Tony Rolletti and Jane Tiffany.
Sept. 9, 1977, midnight
S1E51 - Behind Hollywood
Author Duane Goff plugs his book, ""Behind Hollywood"". The Mirth-makers perform ""Fifteen and Free"".
Sept. 12, 1977, midnight
S1E52 - Etiquette Guidelines
Barth starts the show with a slide show of his travels around Hollywood. Guests for this episode are etiquette authority Meg Endicott and her new book, Etiquette Guidelines for the Future and U.S. Defense Department representative, Col. Morris Chandler, announcing the newly formed War Deprogramming Center, a facility that helps war veterans ease back into the civilian life by first returning them to the war.
Sept. 13, 1977, midnight
S1E53 - Aunt Edity
The show starts off on a somber note when Barth announces that the recently hired sportscaster, Jane Tiffany, was injured and is now in a coma, her prognosis uncertain. They proceed to hold an impromptu tribute to her which was quickly thrown together without hardly any thought or preparation and it shows. The first guest claimed to be Barth's Aunt Edith but is in fact Barth's former "patron" from Miami. This much older woman has tracked him down for the promised "services to be rendered" once she "put mirrors on every ceiling." The next guest claimed to be an accomplished dancer who defected from the Soviet Union but it becomes obvious that Serge Nabokov was kicked out because, as his mother put it, "you stink.
Sept. 14, 1977, midnight
S1E54 - no info
Barth says a prayer on the show before introducing former daredevil now auto mechanics instructor Virgil Simms. He talks about being an auto-mechanics instructor at the Fernwood Community College. Also appearing is Elliot J Tubbs, the newly appointed National Liquor Lobby representative furthering the alcohol industry's cause. Barth ends the show with a song about truckers and fruit.
Sept. 15, 1977, midnight
S1E55 - no info
The show begins with Barth and Jerry reacting to some comments made by Tom Snyder. With the band's strike over, things return to normal. Tonight's guests include Edward Bailey, a hamburger bun juggler from the Bun-N-Run, Dr. Harlen Washburn, who describes his vision of integrated education and returning guest Baby Irene performing Animal Crackers.
Sept. 16, 1977, midnight
S1E56 - Theological Correspondence Course
Father George Reese plugs his theological correspondence course, and accordianist Frankie ""Kid"" Carbone.
Sept. 19, 1977, midnight
S1E57 - Singles Mingles Club
None
Sept. 20, 1977, midnight
S1E58 - Lattimore Diet Program
Six-year-old trombonist Kevin McCormick. Mrs. Lillian Lattimore describes her diet program.
Sept. 21, 1977, midnight
S1E59 - Battery Powered Car
Virgil Simms introduces his battery powered car. Emanual Kasinski on Gay Liberation.
Sept. 22, 1977, midnight
S1E60 - Harry Shearer
Harry Shearer discusses his work in TV news.
Sept. 23, 1977, midnight
S1E61 - Amusement and Healing Parks
Bob and Joanne Herlick recite Shakespeare.
Nelson Phipps of the Amusement and Healing Parks.
Sept. 26, 1977, midnight
S1E62 - Indian Princess
On the show tonight: Indian princess Shosen Rising Star and psychologist Stanley Turnbull.
Sept. 27, 1977, midnight
S1E63 - Fan Club President
Barth Gimble fan club president Mercedes Blyweiss presents an award to Barth.
Sept. 28, 1977, midnight
S1E64 - The Ransom
Happy Kyne talks about where songwriters get their inspiration. Happy and the Mirth-Makers sing ""Ice Cream Baby"". Barth interviews three heavily-disguised criminals. Barth explains to Jerry how cartoons work. Bud Prize talks about the ransom note. Somebody has his chow-chow! Barth gets a singing telegram -- actually a summons from Miami.
Sept. 29, 1977, midnight
S1E65 - Save "Fernwood 2Night" Telethon
Barth and Jerry stage a telethon to save the show. Final episode of the series. Continues the next summer as ""America 2Night"".
Sept. 30, 1977, midnight