Jan. 31, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E1 - Moving Out
I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.
Jan. 31, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E2 - Moving Day
My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.
Jan. 31, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E3 - Bodyguard
Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.
Jan. 31, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E4 - Baby
I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.
Feb. 8, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E5 - Baby Daddy
Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.
March 1, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E6 - Depressed
I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.
March 1, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E7 - Hangover
I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.
March 1, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E8 - Fight
I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.
March 13, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E9 - Philip Seymour Hoffman
I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.
April 4, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E10 - Cat
I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.
April 4, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E11 - Back to School
I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.
April 11, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E12 - Extension
Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.
April 11, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E13 - Paper
I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.
April 18, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E14 - Crush
It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.
April 18, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E15 - Ashleyguard
But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!
April 26, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E16 - Nightmare
Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!
April 29, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E17 - Zac Efron
A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!
May 3, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E18 - Philip Seymour Hoffman 2
Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.
May 3, 2010, midnight 0.0
S1E19 - Gun
Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?
