S9E1 - Tinder Profile Picture Day (2)
If your picture’s a selfie it looks like you don’t have friends.
Jan. 5, 2017, midnight
S9E2 - The Horrors of Hungover Traveling
Pretty much exactly as awesome as it sounds.
Jan. 10, 2017, midnight
S9E3 - Bizarre Amazon Product Reviews (2)
The twirling spaghetti fork pairs exceptionally well with the wine purse.
Jan. 12, 2017, midnight
S9E4 - I Need More Intel: Is That Hot Guy Gay?
Shirtless bro pics are always a red herring.
Jan. 13, 2017, midnight
S9E5 - Dogs Are Practice Babies
Don’t forget: this will still be a destructive, constantly shitting nightmare.
Jan. 17, 2017, midnight
S9E6 - Horror Movie Girl Is Embarrassed She’s a Virgin
Everyone knows the pants wiener is inflated by massaging on the private areas.
Jan. 19, 2017, midnight
S9E7 - How to Wash a Goddamn Dish
Don’t worry – it’s so easy, there’s literally no reason not to do it, you entitled piece of sh*t.
Jan. 28, 2017, midnight
S9E8 - Fake News Investigative Journalists
The truth is powerful, and it takes constant vigilance to drown out that truth with noise.
Feb. 7, 2017, midnight
S9E9 - Awkward at Parties Horror Movie (with Allison Williams and Lil Rel)
A party guest most foul.
Feb. 17, 2017, midnight
S9E10 - Stressagains: The Restaurant for Stress-Eating
Just like the momentary distraction your mom used to make!
Feb. 17, 2017, midnight
S9E11 - Movie Make-Up Makes Acting Hard
When it comes to make-up, less is muhhrrrrrrrg.
March 3, 2017, midnight
S9E12 - Extremely Real People Who Are Definitely Not Actors
Audition? What’s that, some sort of exciting new Ford truck model?
March 8, 2017, midnight
S9E13 - 5 Tips for People Who Don’t Understand Taxes
Doing your taxes is easy if you make stuff up.
March 9, 2017, midnight
S9E14 - Oh No, Why Is This Trending?! (2017 Edition)
Legend has it people used to tweet tiny, comical stories, known colloquially as “jokes” or “goofs”.
March 23, 2017, midnight
S9E15 - We Found Sinbad’s Shazaam Genie Movie!
I told you “Kazaam” was a different movie!
April 1, 2017, midnight
S9E16 - Music Festival Boot Camp
You can’t handle the merch booth.
April 14, 2017, midnight
S9E17 - It’s Technically a Meal
It’s healthier to cook for yourself! Right?
May 13, 2017, midnight
S9E18 - Eating with Your Rich Friends
I’ll have the “corking fee”.
April 20, 2017, midnight
S9E19 - Just Let the World Die
Take that, student loans!
April 29, 2017, midnight
S9E20 - An Honest Call with Your Bank
Oh, a problem with my account? Well, prepare for a tantrum that blames you personally.
May 4, 2017, midnight
S9E21 - Sleepovers When You’re Gay
Dream Phone was SO heteronormative.
June 20, 2017, midnight
S9E22 - The Straightest Dude Ever
He eats lighters.
June 27, 2017, midnight
S9E23 - The Relationship Simulator Bed
What’s a couple hours of sleep every night for love?
May 27, 2017, midnight
S9E24 - Date with a Fast Food Burger
Boy meets grill.
May 25, 2017, midnight
S9E25 - I Can’t Decide What My Last Meal Should Be
Why don’t we both get something, and we can share?
June 18, 2017, midnight
S9E26 - Porn, but for Crying
Oh, yeah, fit that injured puppy with a lil’ prosthetic leg.
June 22, 2017, midnight
S9E27 - These Incriminating Photos Look Amazing
Is this blackmailer’s evidence of you looking fucking hot or committing a crime?
Aug. 3, 2017, midnight
S9E28 - Hinting That You’re Also into Guys
Ok, they’re gay. Now, for a super chill, totally laid-back way to just like CASUALLY hint that you are too or whatever.
Aug. 12, 2017, midnight
S9E29 - Your Favorite Shameful Flavors As Chips
New from Chompsky’s: All the shameful self-hatred of eating peanut butter with a spoon, in the convenience of a potato chip!
Aug. 19, 2017, midnight
S9E30 - Sorry My Car Is So Gross
Sure, it’s a little messy, but there are so many places to ash!
Aug. 22, 2017, midnight